Day 23

So Friday in the cafeteria Nachos was on the menu I really didn't want them but I didn't want what I packed for lunch. Just was not in the mood for veggies and fruit and good for you stuff. So i decided to eat the nachos I asked if they had a half portion but they didn't so I got the whole portion and thought I would only eat half. Now this is in a take out dinner container so even half was too much. So as I was telling him to add the sour cream, cheddar and nacho cheese, rice and beans, avocados, onions and grilled chicken I was singing it and doing the little head dance. Yummy can't wait to eat half of this.... well 3/4 of the way in I was about to blow up I had to give the rest away didn't even want to look at it. I was so sleepy after lunch that I almost bust my head on the keyboard. OMG I won't be able to eat like that too soon. I went to the gym after work to work that off. worked out for one hour and it felt good to know that I burned some of that fat off. WHEW!!!! I have really been praying for some kinda control in my life. I have let food comfort me thru so many situations in my life. I no longer want to eat a huge bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup, nuts, caramel sauce and strawberries to make me feel better for the moment and then wonder why I cant fit into my jeans. Or wonder why the bed is sinking in on my side.

I realize that some of the things that I write about are shocking to some people because I never expressed the things that I was going thru in my relationship to you. I have been happy with my husband for a very long time and the little things we went thru were tolerable until I couldn't tolerate them anymore. My mother and father always told me that you never tell people what goes on in your bed. One thing is that I will never tell anything that I don't mind getting back to me or someone else that's just the way I am. So I never told you what was going on in my life or bed. That should not be shocking how many people do you tell all your business too. I have no issues talking about my life but I think other people do because not many people have open minds and are non-judgmental.

I have never been one to spread things or to judge anyone for anything. I learned that along time ago that whatever you judge a person on, it will happen to you triple fold. I try to surround myself with people who are open minded and non-judgemental because life is not predictable and doesn't always fit in the box that others create for me.

That is my story and lesson for tonight.

I feel like the Lotus flower.... it starts off at the bottom of the pond in mud and murky waters only to rise to be the most beautiful flower in the pond. I'm rising to the top in full bloom.