Yesterday was a bad day for me January 4th so I didn't write although that may have made me feel better. I woke up in a good mood and worked out. I got this body ball so I did about 20 minutes worth of exercises on that then 20 situps and 15 minutes on the treadmill. That was the longest 15 minutes of my life.
Then I went to clean the house that I am leaving, or lost however you choose to look at that and I realized thats why I'm depressed. I loved my house and even though I really like the apartment I would have choose to leave the house under different circumstatnces. Well I ate so much yesterday it was really ridiculous and the thing is it didnt make me feel any better it made me feel worse. I was eating like was on auto pilot. I ate pancakes and sausages, the leftover steak from Sunday dinner, chips, my sons pancakes they didn't finish, and ham sandwich more chips and then english muffin with peanut butter. Well I did drink plenty of water and as bad as I wanted a Pepsi I didn't get one. Although what would it had hurt. This is were I always have a problem get depressed and eat like I'm crazy. So what do I do know how do I overcome this. Anybody with an answer I'm listening. Pray and pray and pray!!!!
When i get depressed like this I need go somewhere be around friends and family. Cant go to the mall cuz I know I will eat pretzels, cookies, slurpies and whatever else is in the food court. Maybe the bookstore or library. Definately not the movies or I'll eat chicken wings hot dogs and popcorn. So next time I'll have to be aware when I'm in this mood and instead of doing the same thing make a phone call. A close friend of mine Poetry said one thing she is going to do is to make a list of all the things she likes to eat that are healthy and good and make sure she has them everywhere: work, car, home and purse. I am going to try this next time I go shopping. No not try I'm going to make my list tonite and make sure I purshase these things on my next shopping trip.
Story
My mother use to always complain about her weight. I thought she was the prettiest thing going and wanted to be like her when I grew up. She use to start a diet on Monday and then be off come Wednesday and then complain how hard it was. Well you know being young and ambitious I use to tell her it was all in her head and if she wanted to do it then just stop. Well I didn't realize the forces that were attached to it. I didn't realize that my mom was depressed for years and eating was her way out to feel better to yet in still feel bad for eating.
Lesson
The lesson I learned many years later is that when you are young you can take on the world without any fear and it all seems easy. You feel like you can conquer the world. Then real life starts to happen and you feel beat up and broke down. Now is my time to get that feeling back again to take on the world and become fearless. For me I'm not trying to think about dieting I want to focus on being healthy and living life to the fullest. With that being said I'm ready to take on the world!!!!!!
