Day 7

So I slept very well last night until about 2:45am when I jumped up ran to the bathroom and started to wash up for work then while sitting on the toilet trying to figure out why I haven't won the lottery I thought did that say 5:45 or 2:45. So I went and put on my glasses and read the time on the cell phone (which is not on) and saw 2:45. Damnit, So I should have known some shit was going to happen today, but I went back to sleep and woke up at 5:00 the normal time.

I didn't cook dinner last night so I didn't have anything to take to work to eat but I'll make due.

So I should have known how the day would be when I put my tie up boots on this morning and walked outside and could feel my sock move down my ankle to be right above the crease of my toes. Damn I should have put on some tights but I get too hot sometimes and be bout ready to tear them off about 8:30am. So I get to work and check my business emails and been wondering why I haven’t got any emails. (Okay just for those who don’t know I also own my own business I run a successful. on the way, all natural Bath and Body Products company called SoulPleasures. It is doing better than it ever has and I’m proud of myself.) Well I figured it out I need to pay for the website to get the emails , you see how all that works together, well I was a little slow. And now my phone is completely off, I cant get no emails no text nothing but your call is being directed to the customer finance department please do not hang up. Well if customer finance can give me some money I’ll hold on, other than that Imma hang up.
So I got real depressed because I don’t know when I’ll be able to turn the website back on and the phone either. So I decided that I was going to eat a bag of chips and a snicker bar. Uhh but Pepsi didn't even come cross my mind last night. After feeling like my uterus was falling out I decided no Pepsi for a while. So I thought and said (you know to myself) I'm suppose to get support when I'm feeling like this. So I emailed my friends Poetry and Paint on Me for support and this is what I got back Its long so I hope you read it;

This came from Paint on Me;

I have a wonderful sister named Truette who isn't phony and loves me for me and understand me (most of the time). Truette is sooo awesome, she doesn't even realize it and that's what's the icing on the cake about her. It's a genuine humble kind of awesome. And can love people in a way I just can't bring myself to do. Selfless is Truette. What a gift. AND has the best ideas. If I need to figure something out, all I have to do is call and its like she's was born with the answer and was just waiting on my call to give it to me. I just love me some Truette. And so beautiful. I see my mother-in-law when I look at Truette and it's not that Truette looks like her, it's like she lives in Truette. And Truette doesn't know how brave she is, she's got this soap business and I'm consider myself a pretty creative person but the scents and soaps are so magnetizing (pause, let me stop typing a second to put on a dab of MadSplash lotion) Mmmmmm....smells so good. Anyway, back to Truette. When I hear Truette's voice or get an email from her, I smile instantly. Some folks instantly make me hit ignore, but I so look forward to talking to Truette that my schedules, family, work and rest of my day would pass by if Truette didn't end the conversation. This is partly because I love to talk but more than that I love to talk to certain people and Truette is one of them. Now wait, Truette also can do her own hair and it's always cute. It seems like every style fits her. She doesn't think so because she has a big head but I love it every time I see her. Processed, natural, blond, brown, black and lol, grey. She rocks it every time. And her clothes along with my clothes, now we are thick women but some of our coldest clothes, skinny chicks look stupid in. They need to wear their own clothes since we can't. Like they laugh at us, I laugh at them. Stringbean, you ain't got enough curves to fill this dress so go sit down somewhere and be hungry, LOL
Now something else about Truette that just blew me away when she was working for a telephone company (I think it was telephone), she new stuff about this job no one else knew, not because she's a brainiac but because she read the literature they passed out and said you should know. Man, I don't even know how many vacation days I get and I've been at my job about 9 years. I wish I had the patience to learn some data like that. If I buy an electrical appliance, I give the instructions to my son and have him break it down and I don't consider myself a dumb person, I just don't have the patience and I'm scared to ask for it from God because I know he's gonna give me a test to develop it...and let's face it, I just don't have the patience for that either. Times when Truette is upset, I can hardly tell because her "I'm straight poker face" is like no other. But when she tells she's hurt, I hurt too because I just love her so much.
So here's a hug & kiss and a stroke of your hair in hopes that you are no longer depressed along with a glass of wine or a shot of patron or just a Pepsi and please know that I think the world of you.

This came from Poetry;
Hey lady...wow. I feel you. As far as advice....your advice can be on how to breathe and tackle the issues one at a time, one step at a time. I knowww you believe and know that God's got your back. For whatever reason, he's just saying baby girl it's gotta go down like this right now. Maybe its His way of showing you how much strength you really do have.
As for the chips...go get some....some baked or lowfat ones. And the snickers...hmmm....i know go get a protein bar or some dried fruit to shake the sweet craving!!!

So I sat at my desk at work and cried. So with advice like this how can I really eat chips and a snickers bar so I decided to go workout. Not that I was dressed for it but I did 100 of those arm exercises with the bar you pull down. As I type I can feel the soreness starting in my cuticles and I know before tonight is over it will reach into my shoulder and neck. I got some BenGay and a heating pad.

I went to the store after work to get a little food I only had 20.00 so I bought a pizza, some fish and Italian sausage for the next few days. When I got to the register I saw the chips so I put them on the belt also. Well with the chips the total was 21.08. Now it was between the fish that was 7.94 and the .99 chips it was a hard decision. Well the fish won and I ended up being proud of myself. I feel sooo good!!!!

Story
I use to be the one everybody goes to for anything and I didn't mind helping with whatever I could I would and have given my last and never wanted to bother anyone with my issues because they always seemed so little compared to everybody else. So I have always keep a lot to myself.

Lesson
Its cool to have people around who are supportive, listen and can give me advice. You just have to have good people around. Thank you friends!!!!!